“It was not my fault. I did not lose anything. Today, I have many goals to achieve. I want to live happily and I want to see the attacker punished. I don’ t want any other girl to experience what I had to go through,” she added.
# V PraveenaNov 28, 2020, 02:06 PM IST.
For the first time since the incident, she opened up about the horrific night in her life in an interview to Grihalakshmi.
The girl who belongs to the Dalit community is living with her mother, siblings and grandfather at their small house.
“After the incident, I decided to commit suicide. But I failed even there. I was feeling like somebody had trapped me inside a cage. I wanted to go out and I finally managed to break free. Yes, I choose
life, not death. It was not my fault. I did not lose anything. Today, I have many goals to achieve. I want to live happily and see the attacker punished. I don’ t want any other girl to undergo my experience,” she added. I used to react even on slightest touch. I got disappointed thinking that I failed to react against the man who attacked me. After the
incident, a case was registered and FIR was prepared. My mom still weeps over the issue. From the next day of the incident, we
were hearing many stories about me, she told Grihalakshmi.
The physical examination as part of the evidence collection was the most hurting experience for her.
Nobody showed any sympathy towards me. I was asked to repeat my experience inside the ambulance. Actually, I was not mentally ready to undergo the physical examination. So, I was criticised. I was feeling like being humiliated repeatedly when I was not even able to move my body. Even the woman police officer who
accompanied me also shouted at me. But a police official who Amidst this, news spread like wildfire. Many people pointed their fingers at me with suspicion. I was completely disappointed when, even the people whom I thought were my supporters, disowned me. It was rumoured that I had an affair with the ambulance driver. I got frequent phone calls from people who claimed to be his party members. Later, I visited the Kottayam Medical College along with my mother
and sister for further treatment. People continued to criticise me. When those who were with me said that I had brought dishonour to them, it shattered me completely. COVID infection intensified. I also became diabetic, probably due to the added mental pressure. “There was nobody to support. When people continued to criticise me even after having all the evidence against the accused, I decided to end my life. I tried to hang myself from the ceiling fan inside the hospital room. But somebody saw me through the window and saved me from death,” she revealed.